I want to write for fun more often.

Since I write content for my job, I do a lot of writing about marketing and whatever else I’m currently working on. And occasionally, I write this newsletter about ADHD.

But for at least a year now, I’ve had a goal to write more for me. More journaling, personal essay style stuff, and just any type of creative writing.

And it just…never happens.

I feel the desire to do it all the time. I feel inspiration coming and going. I even glance at calls for freelance writers for personal essay-style writing.

But I just. Can’t. Get. Started.

Since I’m a freelance writer, my work often comes in fits and spurts. Sometimes I’m so busy, there’s just no chance to write for fun. Then my schedule will open up and suddenly there’s time, but I end up reading newsletters (a special interest of mine), scrolling LinkedIn (it feels productive because I could potentially find clients there), or looking at job listings I’ll never apply for.

Why am I this way??

Yeah…it’s the ADHD.

First of all, ADHDers can have a hard time getting started on tasks in general because of this thing called executive dysfunction.

Executive dysfunction is common in neurodivergent brains and it stems from differences in how our brains process rewards and manage dopamine. It impacts our:

Initiating tasks can take a lot of executive function skills. In order to start something new, you need to:

Because there’s potentially so much that can go into writing “more” and “for fun,” I struggle to initiate the task at all and end up in task paralysis:

In my last newsletter, I wrote about overwhelm and how it’s the reason I found out I had ADHD in the first place. I am…well, chronically overwhelmed by life, even when it’s slow, because of how busy my brain is.

And when I think about writing for fun, my mind fills with far too many questions.

What should I start with? Should I use prompts? Should I write in a journal or type? Maybe there are places I can try to write essays for? Or how about more journalistic style writing? Maybe I should take a class at the local literary center.

What if I’m not good at it? I used to write about my deepest, darkest feelings and publish them online, but I don’t know if I can do that anymore. Do I even have those kinds of feelings anymore? Maybe I should start a Medium account and just publish there. How does Medium work, anyway?

Cue the overwhelm.

Have you heard about toxic productivity? I think a lot of ADHD folks have a hard time with it because we struggle sometimes with getting things done. Basically, it means you feel like you should always be doing something “productive,” and your level of productivity is tied to your worth.

As an aside, here’s a resource I really like on toxic productivity:

Because I’m a freelancer and I have open time, I always feel like I should be doing something “productive” that could be helping me find more clients. Anything that’s just for me doesn’t feel like it’s contributing to my growth as a freelance writer…even though writing personal essays could eventually lead to more work.

Yeah, my brain is a crazy, circular place filled with contradictions 🫣

Ok, now we know why I’m not writing for myself/for fun, even though I want to. At this point, I really want to know what this looks like in your life. Is there something you’re totally stuck on for similar reasons? What’s the thing you really want to do that you just can’t seem to initiate?

Alrighty then…let’s try to fix this.

I’m going to school myself here and talk us both through this 😂.

TBH I already did this a little bit when I wrote all those questions up there 👆 so that’s convenient for me!

There’s just no way I’ll ever get started when my brain is a jumbled mess of questions, unprioritized tasks, unmade decisions, and squirrels.

BRB, gotta do the brain dump!

Whew, ok that felt really good. I got some thoughts and feelings and questions out on paper and I’m feeling a bit more clarity now on what I actually need to do to begin.

Now that we have all those swirling thoughts written down, we need to prioritize and do a little planning. However, do NOT go all out and create an elaborate plan with a whole bunch of steps — that’s just going to lead to overwhelm. When a project has too many steps, that’s when ADHD brains just want to check out.

Instead, just plan the beginning of your project and identify the smallest possible first steps you can take to getting started. You need to make getting started as easy as possible.

For example, if you need to study for an upcoming exam, the first steps might be opening the books and setting up your desk with a couple different beverages to keep that dopamine flowing.

If you need to clean your living room, the first step might be throwing stuff in a basket if it belongs on another floor or in a different room.

For me, the smallest possible first step is to commit to just 10 minutes of writing something that’s not for work. Whether I start with a prompt or just free write whatever pops into my head, I know I can do 10 minutes.

ADHD nervous systems are interest-based, meaning we need a task to be interesting in some way in order to motivate ourselves to do it. And if the task isn’t inherently interesting? We can add games or rewards in order to ADHD-ify it.

For example, I hate laundry. Not only is it boring, but there are so many sensory sensitivities I have to overcome to do it (like going into the cold basement and touching cold, wet clothing). So, I save one of my favorite podcasts specifically for laundry. I can only listen to the podcast if I’m doing laundry.

To gamify it, I could set up a game where I get points for doing certain tasks, unlocking different rewards for myself at different point levels.

I’m not sure yet what I’ll do to gamify or reward my progress with writing for fun…I do need a new e-reader, so maybe I can tie it to that somehow. We’ll see.

Those aren’t the only 3 things that can help an ADHD brain get going on a task, but in my experience, they’re the most reliable, along with body doubling.

Are you going to start something with me that you’ve been thinking about doing forever?