ADHD and...The Perpetual Research Phase

One thing that tends to happen to a lot of us ADHDers is getting that next big idea 💡. You know, the one that’s going to change how you live/work/parent/exist. That one thing you just have to learn how to do, or that one tweak you just have to make to your daily schedule, or that one bin that you just have to buy and then you’ll be magically more organized.

Before I knew I had ADHD, I pursued many of these big ideas. And sure, some turned out great and something changed for the better. But more often than not, it would only get halfway done or otherwise abandoned along the way.

Why? Well, I suddenly realized the project was more work than I thought it would be, or I wasn’t able to find the time I thought I’d have, or my interest in the thing just fizzled out.

Or, I got suuuper stuck in the perpetual research phase.

What’s the perpetual research phase?

I got the term “perpetual research phase” from a podcaster, creative woman, and ADHDer I admire, MJ Mayes:

Basically, it means that you never really start a thing because you’re waiting until you can get it to that perfection level first. You’re researching ALL THE THINGS about it so that you can be an expert before jumping in.

Your definition of “good enough” is much too high, so you never get your project to a place where you feel comfortable publishing it. Then, your love and faith in it slowly peters out until you just leave it completely behind as a failure.

This has happened to me too many times. I can’t count the number of ideas I’ve had, started on, then gave up because I was never going to be as good as the other people who were already successful in the same space. Or I was never going to find enough time or mental energy to make it as awesome as the pictures in my head.

Why is this something that people with ADHD tend to run into so often?

Well, because ADHDers tend to have perfectionistic tendencies. Thanks to @the_mini_adhd_coach for this visual:

This comic is spot on for me. It’s so hard to do anything when you’re stuck in this loop!

But why? Why do we get stuck in this loop?

Well, for me anyway, it’s fear.

Fear-Motivated Perfectionism

I get stuck in the ADHD perfectionism loop because perfectionism is my coping mechanism. If I do things perfectly, I can’t be seen by my peers as lacking (triggering my RSD), I can’t fail (triggering my own inner critic), and I can’t let my ADHD make me look like a fool who jumps into something only to abandon it down the line.

You know what was stuck behind the fear-motivated perfectionism wall for a very long time?

This newsletter.

I have all these great, ADHD-interest-fueled ideas for it. I have the desire to connect with fellow ADHDers. I have the technical skills to make it happen, and even expand it with a custom website someday.

But the fear of not being perfect comes in and just craps all over my plans.

Thankfully, I’ve found some pretty great inspiration lately to get over my perfectionism wall and just do the gol’ dang thing. That inspo is my very first ADHD Rec!